Why hugging matters

Ever felt lonely in spite of having people around you. I have come to live in the twilight years. Father of two kids, husband to my wife and a friend to all those who have a relationship with me. Never did I realize that loneliness was an option when compared to the innumerable friends and acquaintances I have developed over years. But I have.

People I love and those who have fallen in love with me for who I am are there when I need them. But circumstances had put me in an unique place during my mother's death. I tried to do everything expected of me for the rituals that followed. But then there were friends who had things to say and remind that I didn't agree with. I came across as someone who was defiant and not sensitive to the process. I worked hard to do everything that I believed to help my mother's last few years as best I could. But I lost in the end with people I have come to know because I didn't follow the traditions. Then I longed for that hug from my kids, my wife and friends I know who understand me for what I stand for.

This is not the first time I missed the hugs. I have lived most of my life and having said so, it goes without saying that I have made a lot of mistakes during the times I lived through. I have felt lonely when I was not able to get across a point, I was lonely when I screwed up and no one to say it was OK and I was not being judged. I have felt lonely when my children grew up and made their share of mistakes but no one to say that it was a growing up process and nothing I imagined was to come true because my fear was unfounded. I suffer from a bone problem called DISH and and my consultant in USA said that since I was suffering from moderate to severe illness, my life expectancy was anywhere between five to fifteen years and my life could come to an end earlier If I had an accident because of the complications of the illness and not because of the illness. I longed for the hugs but I did not express my fears and made a joke of the situation to my family and friends.

I had friends who died young, in their middle age and without the time to say goodbye. My mother's death has brought mortality to the fore front and not to acknowledge it is living in a fool's paradise. I am scared to miss the hugs from my wife, kids and friends and living so far away, caring for my dad now brings the uncertainty of ever being able to hug anyone again.

Hugs matter. Hugs gives you the warmth, the closeness you deserve, the love you have shared and reciprocated, breaking the realm of formality and reservedness, hugs make you feel you are wanted, hugs gives you the meaning of life, hugs are hard to reproduce, hugs are something that you cherish and feel good about, hugs are a way to convey that they get it and still believe in you, hugs are beyond the understanding of what life really matters.

Hug everyone you feel connected to , be it your kids, spouse or friends. It will be one less worry when you close your eyes not knowing whether you will wake up again.