What Robin Williams Death taught me

Mr. Williams lived his life to the fullest, so we would assume. But there was a void he couldn’t fill. He couldn’t put his finger on what he missed but he sure felt it. Anyone who knew him, didn't have to second guess that he was a success story. He made people laugh and was a multi millionaire. He married thrice, all beautiful women,had children, cared for people and friends. He loved his family. To me, it looked as though he lived his life to the fullest. But he didn’t. Hence took his life to the grave.

I questioned not knowing what would push one to take his own life. It scared me as my life has been on a roller coaster. I feared not knowing how to move forward and at times pondered whether my life was worth living. I have been reading books that motivate people and listened to Ted Talks. I have come to understand that I have been miserable because events were not under my control. My dreams have been shattered but at the same time my destiny was taking shape. The depression blurred the picture. I began to ponder about my life purpose. To grow and give. My blue print of how my life must be shaped was far from where I was.

I realized I had choices after all. The path I wanted to take was closed by boulders as a result of a landslide. With no understanding of how to move forward, I stood still. Literally paralysed, I started to entertain the blame game. What I didn’t realize until now was that I had a choice to change my blueprint of what I considered to be the goal and success or achieve the same result with better satisfaction but not becoming the person I dreamed of.

I looked back at my life from my young age. I never could be like my siblings when it came to excelling and becoming the topper during school days. They all are settled and doing well for themselves. I am happy for them. But if I would have been like them, then I would have missed all that I have experienced. I will never want to trade places. I believe that my life taught me to give unconditional love, give without expectations, reach out to the sick and downtrodden, appreciate the little joys I experienced, never gave up hope, believed in faith, dreamt and realized the dreams, only to be taken away time and time again, learned to be humble, understood that being non judgmental is a virtue, saw happiness in giving, being grateful and thankful has become my mantra and when life sucked, it taught me that change was around the corner and the realization that better times are yet to come took hold of my belief system wiping away the negative thoughts that gripped me and magnified the unknown fear in me.

I have come to understand that I don’t have to be a billionaire or be applauded as a great leader. My happiness is within me and I have the power to be a fountain of hope for others to drink and help all those who ask and don’t due to shame. I know I can and understand them as I was them, once . This is my life purpose and I plan to live my life to the fullest.