Sometimes we are left with a place we can’t get back into

We all have childhood memories. We can locate the house we lived, played games, went to school and then we had to move on. WE remember the football games we cheered and the parades in our town and sucking on the lollipops or licking an ice cream cone and then we moved on. We remember the times as a high school senior, cramming up for our ACTs and SATs and getting into the colleges we aspired for but in our hearts we didn’t want to move on but sure we did as the time wouldn’t stand still. We laughed innocently, pulled each other’s leg, went to movies as a group and finally had to say goodbye as we had to move on. We loved our high school sweetheart, and promised to remain faithful and things changed because we had to pursue our self interests and then we moved on. We worked at McDonalds or Pizza Hut and made friends irrespective of creed or the grades we held and then came a day that we had to move on.

As age advanced, we were dealt the hands we held by the fate and some had to live with the consequences, sometimes no fault of theirs but got stuck. Why it is so difficult to move on when we have experienced as a kid and an adolescent and found a way to move on. Why there is so much anger and resentment, why there is no love when their lives were torn apart, why there is guilt and hatred, why there is no turning back even with so much hurt and why the path to move forward is clouded with self doubt, lack of self confidence, drained and nothing to give or share as the experiences one had, has robbed away the necessities to interact and not to prejudge of our future endeavors.

In relationships, we hurry to take the oath that says “until death do us apart”, but in years we come to realize that not an extra day could be spent because we realized it to be a folly. Trust is gone. Happiness is a fleeting moment, support is forgotten, distaste becomes the norm, the very presence of the person we loved is disheartening and we become spiteful, hate is the right word, we just don’t get to care anymore. But we are not alone. We have, during the process of living the fantasy, ended up with a child or children and not knowing where the responsibility lies, cling to our innermost fear, that without them, all is gone and make a mockery of the kids lives because we had to succeed in a crude way, robbing the kids of the love, affection and happiness that could have still been a possibility had we only taken some time to realize that their lives matter and they deserve to taste what we did being raised in a two parent home.

We know it is over. We know there is no place we can get back into. We know we have to move on. That there is no turning back, the road to future, is lonely till we decide to make it lively, the baggage we accumulated is showing the strain on our backs but nothing stops us from believing that there is a future, a better tomorrow, and grind on till we see the daylight only if we chose to. And our children whose hands we hold onto will start to believe, “Yes, there is light and hope” and spread a smile that is infectious and light one on your face because they have been the inspiration, the food for thought, the angels in disguise as they march with you for a life they deserve and you happen to take the credit for a job well done.