Personal Responsibility-Does it convey the real meaning? How it gets to play in our civil society.

In Search of understanding Individual Responsibility-Personal or Individual responsibility comes from the values we hold as a society and as an individual. The life of a human being is tormented in deciding whether to give importance to his/her emotions that dictate one's heart or to the behavior that becomes easier to judge as right and wrong.This great country is raised on the notion that personal responsibility always triumphs and lets the society to judge any one as successful or a failure. This value system has helped to become the leader of the world and maintain its position. But behind the success is a virtue that every human being is endowed with that shows compassion and kindness which is still there in our society for example when it comes to natural calamity due to natures wrath or man made, we all rally around but in an Individual's life, those virtues are slowly but surely being eroded that many in this country feel lonely losing the connections with their family, friends and the people they love and come to realize that though they are surrounded by people, wealth and power, what they thought of as the ultimate source for happiness appears to be wanting. But then they are in the evening of their lives and resign to the notion that that have missed the bus. The conflict within oneself begins when the belief that he/she is responsible for his/her own behavior is put to test. The action taken in solving a problem just doesn't seem to be sufficient to the society of which he/she is a part of and the goodness of the act is mis characterized as one of arrogance. When a check arrives from the Army that alleviates the problems for a family that lost a husband/father soldier but without a human touch, the way it is perceived is one of anger and disillusionment even though the purpose of the visit is the same as the one that was sent by mail.

The anger of those who believe in personal responsibility and expect everyone to be held to the same standards though justified is called into question when the judgment is made not on an individual basis but affects the entire sect of people to which he belongs. We don't use the same standards in attaching the blame to a victim-We don't blame a child who has been sexually abused for being in a situation where the child could be abused; We blame a young girl to a lesser degree when she goes to a party and gets drunk and puts herself in a position where her rights could be compromised; We blame the abusive husband and throw him in jail and allow the wife to get back to the society with out any understanding of what the woman needs to do to prevent such abuse from happening in the future or giving the jailed husband the tools to change- the abuser and enabler carry equal blame when repetitions occur and they commonly do;A drunkard who annoys the bystanders might be blamed more even if he ends up in the hospital after getting beaten up and finally the dead victim will be solely blamed if he is shot dead when he invades someone's space and tries to rob.

Personal responsibility is taught as we grow, and admired in an adult as a reflection of one's character. For those who had the benefit of two parent home, raised in a fair if not the best socioeconomic conditions, educated under the supervision of parents, the chances of failure though possible is less than the ones who is raised in a single parent home, in the absence of the parent who works two or three jobs, attending schools without break fast or lunch, not able to feel secure in their own homes due to the violence in their neighborhoods and exposed to gangs and drugs at a young age. It is difficult for those children to comprehend the society's expectations when they are fearful and scared of their own survival. Alcoholism and drug use among their parents, pushed to care for their own siblings at a young age, witnessing abuse at home and feeling helpless and lack of basic necessity like food, clothing and shelter pushes the young children to behave like adults. The morals are gone, teenage sex becomes the norm and the young ones get attracted to gangs to have a sense of belonging. Going to school is seen as an escape from reality, learning is pushed to the back burner as the day to day responsibilities expected of them to shoulder at home takes a toll. And so a generation grows under our very eyes, but the society is oblivious of their presence. For those who believe in personal responsibility, the anger comes when the frustration grows to see nothing change even after providing the basic needs. In their minds, the provisions to the poor should bring them to a level playing field. What is missing and which they fail to recognize is the warmth and touch of a human being they have been deprived of in the absence of care givers, the inability to be a child when they are one, the security which most take for granted in their own homes but not the ones who witness the crimes on a regular basis, the sound of an ambulance and the siren of police vehicles giving rise to fear for the ones not at home as memories flash past their minds of the deaths they have witnessed.

Personal Responsibility doesn't stop with taking care of ourselves and not being dependent. It extends to caring for our parents, children, to the people who work for us and to the society at large. Many have had bumps and failures in fulfilling those obligations. But they are better than those who are not individually taking care of themselves. Then it begs the question- To what level you attach blame. I gave examples of different types of blame we attach to the victims. Does it matter? Yes. To identify and find the resources to help them will move the needle towards improving their future which in turn will help them start to want to better their lives and with it comes Personal Responsibility. It is wrong to assume that all poor and the minority want to be dependent. When such class distinction is made and talked openly, people start the blame game. Who is responsible for their current situation. The African Americans want to blame, rightfully so, the whites for the slavery, robbing them of individuality,lack of education, a two parent home when the whites during slavery did separate the married couple or sold one of them, with the children staying behind with their mother who became the care taker/ disciplinarian and till today that is what you see in the community because of the gap in family structure that remains to be addressed. The Hispanics were encouraged to migrate or come in illegally not because there was no border fence, but because the businesses wanted to exploit their poor educational back ground and because of their illegal entry, has used their status and have come to perfect the modern day slavery by paying minimum wages and making them dependent. The white poor is not often brought into discussion though they remain as number one recipients regarding Medicaid, food stamps, housing and cash allowances. It is not politically correct to include them and it is well exemplified when politicians like President Reagan called the black women not so subtly as welfare queens. The morality of this country is at cross roads, is becoming socially inept in dealing with the problems when it comes to younger generations and making the class distinction between haves and have nots more wider and predominant. Religions have their own share of responsibility and instead of focusing on the moral issues that could help, guide and give hope to the people who are suffering, they tend to get involved in policy decisions and blur the separation of church and State. Today less people are inclined to follow what comes from the pulpit. The moral authority is waning reflected on today's parents having difficulty in guiding and correcting their own children. It is easy to close our eyes and when awake use personal responsibility as a tool to win an argument but to address the real issues that will make it meaningful, we the society have to work together and raise every one's standards to claim, this country not only believes in personal responsibility but also lives by its own standards.