Confusion Amalgamated

I have made mistakes in writing my posts, simple spelling mistakes that could have been corrected by Microsoft word or apple's self correction. I have found difficulty in breaking down my sentences to simple ones. Grammar has at times taken a back seat in my rush to post. I have squirmed in my seat when I have reread my posts. But then why do I feel so awkward realizing that my writing screwed up by not turning out the way I would have wanted but still conveying the message loud and clear. Because I want to make less mistakes, hoping that I could better myself, and someday aim for the perfection of the writers and authors who don't have to worry about such mundane stuff which to me is a big deal. I am worried that this nuance in my thinking will stop me from being myself, just a guy with all his faults, but then at some point I need to take responsibility of what I post either in writing or in the message I try to convey. Knowledge when not shared is a sin but not conveying it the right way is also a sin. Words mean something. I am an ardent believer of that and if my words expressed with the wrong spelling conveyed a different meaning, I have no one else to blame other than myself. I don't know of what to do with myself, fear or face it and find solutions. Keep a dictionary, find tools to help me in writing and follow the way that is right or keep screwing up because I don't take the time to read it or correct it and find some excuse I can live with. I can understand why so many people fear expressing themselves or putting their thoughts in print in a forum. I thought I crossed that stage but then the K(C)umbaya is gone and the dance has stopped and the moment of truth has come. Do I go forward and wished as always to be that person or become that person I held in high esteem in literature or become an anecdote for future references ending with, this person who lost but loved so well. Hard as it is for me to grasp my own situation, I decided not to make it any worse for the reader. I will stop bemoaning over a situation that might be plain silly or just difficult for me only.