A Father’s Day

Dad I have not said so much about you. I love you as you are aware. You guided us through times when there was less hope. You never said so much for us to believe that things were possible. You came home on time. It was predictable. You went to the theaters on weekend before your retirement. This was your only let out to fantasize. You never smoked or drank alcohol. There was nothing your children could point a finger at to find an excuse. You hid your emotions when life was in turmoil. You came to have dinner with us as a routine. You let us talk when we argued. You calmed us when we fought. You appreciated when your children achieved. Even when I didn’t, who happened to be an aberration. You never put us down. You showed your displeasure by not saying anything when we did not do the right way and shook hands when your children showed that they were a force to reckon with. You loved us by giving all that you had, even mother’s gold jewelry which you pledged in a pawn shop on a regular basis to the point when your office clerk who did it for you, reminded you that you should think twice. I was a witness many a times and you never blamed us. On the contrary you just said that you were just trying to give your family the least. You did not have a lot of answers then. But you did something right and great.

Today your four sons are doing really good in USA. Even me, dad.I never believed it was possible. But I couldn’t let you down. And so I tried. I never gave up because of you. My children are reaping the fruits of my labor, not knowing it was you who was the person who pulled me up when I didn’t believe in myself. You never for once, said that you ever regretted having me in your life. Mom said a lot to help me not give up. You didn’t. But I got the message loud and clear. I never thought that you loved me any less. On the contrary, I only wondered how you did.

Your four sons have come to understand that life is more than what one can show for. You made two Physicians and two Engineers. All four in respectable positions. Their words matter. People take notice. What they don’t know is there exists a human being, shy of the glamor, devoid of any wants, sacrificed his entire life without comfort and luxury. And today even when you can, you refuse to -- not fair to say that- you don’t know what it is, ever wanting to taste, sometimes leading to frustration in your children’s mind.

My visits to India three times a year is not a sacrifice. It is the least I can do to show my gratitude. My brothers have been there and have been giving all they have got and have been cognizant of the facts of life as experienced. We all are trying. We know we can never be you. But you taught us to be humble, share, love, be a worthy human being. We will always strive to lead a life similar to to the one you led. And will be proud if we can realize at the least ,half of what you achieved.

These days, I see the emotions bubble up in you. You tear up when I leave. You kiss my hand. I see the desperation in you not to be offended when I get angry with mom. I I will never, dad. I want you to know how much I love mom and you. But I am at a loss to express in words when I am with you. My brothers and I are ever grateful.I recognize the fear in you whether it will be the last time you will be seeing us, every time when we visit mom and you. I just want you to know, if God wants you more than we, your children do, always remember, you are the most sought after father anyone would want and we are blessed to have experienced first hand.

~Kripa